Monday, March 3, 2014

The Dreaded Diagnosis

All day, I've dreaded writing this post.

It's not the kind of news that a mom likes to share. Especially this mom.

The MRI today revealed the reason for Ben's severe headaches last night. The headaches and vomiting that led us back to the ER and then into the ICU. The tumor has grown. Tripled, actually. In just three weeks since his brain surgery, Ben's tumor has grown three times its original size.

The neurosurgeon is just as shocked as we are. He has treated a few Stage IV Glioblastomas in his experience, even in young kids like Ben. Some older, some younger. And never has he encountered such an aggressively growing tumor. Never. Even after a week of radiation and chemotherapy, they would have anticipated it to slow growth, if not stop it completely. The idea of an aggressive treatment like this was to starve the blood cells feeding it. So hopefully, it would shrink. But it would appear that the it had virtually no affect at all. This cancer defied everything they thought they knew about it.

The good news is that they put off the idea of another brain surgery. AND they set him home. My poor baby was so excited to be freed from all the twisty wires that have entangled him, the beeping alarms, the hourly neuro-checks, and get the green light to sleep in his own bed! Then the fact that he wouldn't have to go to Roswell anymore? Wow! It felt so good to tell him that tonight.

The bad news is the reason for those cancellations. They wouldn't be helpful to us. With the rate at which this tumor seems to be multiplying, Dr. Li couldn't recommend surgery. The swollen brain would continue to swell as the tumor grew and he would have a difficult time trying to put it back together, even if he was able to get 80% of it out, best case scenario. Because the tumor would just keep growing, it would keep coming back. And surgery would definitely interfere with his speech, movement and memory because of where the tumor is located. Treatment seems useless if it didn't even seem to make a dent after a full week. Especially since we'd have to wait an additional two weeks for the brain to heal before we would start radiation and chemo again.

We just don't have that kind of time.

Our best option? To take Ben home. Keep him comfortable. Prescribe him a higher dose of the steroid to help manage the pain from the swelling. Try and preserve as much quality of life. Because we're talking about weeks. That's it. Not years, not months, not "well, if you manage things pretty well, there's no doubt he won't be a healthy adult!"

Weeks.

I'm not entirely sure this news has really set in.

Instead of watching my otherwise healthy four-year-old grow up through the years, I am going to be watching him die over the course of a few weeks.

Dr. Li told us to watch for signs of deterioration. Loss of movement on one or both sides. Slurred speech. Difficulty putting ideas together. Loss of coordination. Seizures. We may be calling Hospice to help assist us with this process. Hospice. The group we called to help with my 97-year-old grandfather last spring. The group we called to help my mother-in-law survive her last few weeks on earth.

Yeah, this information has definitely not settled in yet.

They still can't believe he hasn't forfeited any of these physical attributes yet. He is so high functioning. He follows their finger with his eyes, has had no loss of coordination, has great muscle control and his speech is just as powerful as it ever was. If it weren't for his headaches, we would have never even looked for anything that even resembled a tumor. It's as if the kid you see in the MRI scan is not the same as the one in the hospital bed.

And yet... God.

The stage is definitely set for God to do a miracle. If Ben is healed from this most aggressive of the aggressive tumors, everyone will know that it was the Lord. There would be no other logical explanation. Medicine has carried pretty much as far as it can. He is definitely capable. And yet He is sovereign. He is not obligated to do anything. He owes us nothing.

You have no idea how difficult this is for me to say.

Ben is not mine. He is not Andy's. He belongs to the Lord. I don't understand - nor do I think that I will ever understand - why God is allowing us to walk this road. Oh, how I wish we didn't have to. I've prayed time and time again for God to take this cup from us. Nonetheless, here we are.

And so we will continue to move forward. We will treasure any amount of time God allows us to have with Benjamin, a little boy who has truly changed our family. And a little boy who I know God will use for big things in the future. No matter which side of heaven he is on.

As much as it pains me to think about Jack and Megan losing a brother, I can't even begin to think about them losing a mom and dad, too. I refuse to be bogged down by the tragic nature of this horrible diagnosis. Our kids need us. All three of them.

And you better believe that I will not give up praying for a miracle.

God is able.
"Jesus loves me, this I know. For the Bible tells me so. Little ones to Him belong; they are weak, but He is strong."
Carry us, Lord Jesus. Wrap your loving arms around us and let us feel Your presence. You are the only One who can bring healing to our son. But not our will, but Yours be done.

Amen.

565 comments:

  1. MIndy and Andy..My heart breaks for you and my prayers are for you, for Jack, Megan and for sweet Ben. May God wrap His arms around you, hold you tight, cradle you in His arms. Your faith ... may it sustain you today, tomorrow and each day...praying for you

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    1. Mindy, although I don't know you personally I feel as though I do...for you have allowed us to become part of your family...to pray for a miracle for Ben...to pray for strength, comfort and to have Jesus wrap his loving arms around all of you. I watched with tears in my eyes this past Sunday your beautiful family coming to get Megan and the pure love that Ben has for his siblings and all those around him. He is a very special little boy and has touched so many hearts. Please know that you are all so loved by many and are continually in my prayers!!!! I am praying that God gives Ben a miracle. {{{{hugs}}}}

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    2. Your strength and understanding is so inspiring. I am praying for a miracle but peace in the moment. My sister had a brain tumor when she was 8. She shouldn't have lived especially since this was in the 80s and medicine wasn't what it is todat. They were certain though if she did live, it would be only a matter of time before it returned. However she is alive today and about to turn 37! The tumor never returned. I know EVERY situation is different and God has a plan in each circumstance, but hearing of other miracles is like food for the soul. Bless your family.

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    3. You are doing the right thing. I have witnessed a 13 year old boy with aggressive glioblastoma. The doctors tried everything. Gamma, trials, nothing worked and in the process it metastasized to his spinal cord. PREPARE for the final minutes, you will feel as though your going to break and you just might. As I tear while I write this, its has been the saddest experience of my life and although I did not bear this child, he could have been my step son. I never want to imagine another child suffering of this cruel death. May the world pour all their strength into you, with love, The Rangers

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    4. You said that Ben is self-sacrificing.

      I wonder if, before God sent his little soul to be with you, he wasn't given prior knowledge of this and asked if he'd be willing to walk this path as an instrument of His mercy.

      So many prayers for you. So, so many prayers. Sacrifices and all my love during Lent.

      <3

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    5. Just a friend of a friend. Little ben is in our prayers , as is the whole family.

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    6. Hi Mindy and Andy and Ben,

      I am sending you all sorts of prayers and love. I also have a son who is four years old. I felt compelled to write and at the risk of sounding silly because you have probably tried everything and have lots of doctors bending your ear about what may or may not be possible for Ben, I feel I must tell you this so my own conscience can rest. If you are truly open and hoping for a miracle, you might look into a ketogenic diet for Ben. Cancer cells feed on sugar, but the body can burn energy out of fat when it needs to. A ketogenic diet is a very high fat/low carb diet that was used to control brain seizures for epileptics in the 1920s. 80% calories from fat, fewer than 50/60g of carbohydrates a day. With so little sugar in the blood stream, eating like this switches us into "burning fat for energy" mode. There have been some incredible reports of people starving their tumors to death on a ketogenic diet in a very short amount of time (a few weeks). I tell you this information without guarantees, since you may not want to bother with something like this at this point, but your post seemed earnest and hopeful so I thought I would mention it. Elaine Cantin wrote about her experience with breast cancer in "The Ketogenic Diet." Good luck to you. Wishing you peace, sending love and light.

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  2. Praying with everything I have for Ben and your entire family!! The rest is up to GOD...sending love <3

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  3. I have never met you or your family, but I have been praying since I first heard about the diagnosis. I am crying right now reading this latest news. God please hear our prayers and heal this boy.

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  4. Sending big, big prayers, and lots and lots of love and support!

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  5. I am so sorry to read about your son. I know we never met before but I am so heartbroken. I pray that God will give you peace and hold you all tightly during this time. God bless you. I am so sorry you have to go through this. However, I know that God is doing it for a reason and it is only going to make you stronger for the future. God knows you can handle it. Keep your eyes up!

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  6. I just would like you to know that I'm praying for you, and for little Ben, and your family. As Jesus cursed the fig tree and it withered, so I curse the tumor and every cancer cell and swelling in your son's body. Speak the Word over Ben's body, and don't stop standing on the word of God. My prayers are with you. God bless.

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  7. I dont know you but as a mother only moms understand the bond we have with our children. Only they know what our heart sounds like from within..God bless you and I prayer for a miracle..n

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  8. We are on our knees, with tears flowing and hearts crying out - still praying for a miracle.

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  10. Praying for your precious son....
    Mary

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  11. I continue to pray for Ben and your entire family. Ben sounds like quite the fighter and a miracle IS waiting to happen to him. xoxo

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  12. I don't know your family, but I have been praying for you ever since I read your blog. Tears are flowing as I read because Ben is such a precious little boy and you are right...he looks so healthy. I am praying for a miracle, and I am praying for God's strength and comfort for your family. We never walk alone as Jesus takes us by the hand and walks us down the path. May God draw you near to Him as you trust your son His hands.

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  13. I've been following your story for the past few weeks. I feel so strongly for your family yet we've never met. I live in Charlotte NC and have spread the word for prayers for your sweet Ben. Friends in Charlotte and Black Mountain NC are praying for your miracle.

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  14. I am praying for peace for you and your family. Ben will not be alone in his journey, you have made sure of that. That is the best you can do. God Bless.

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  15. I don't know you all just stumbled across this in my fb news feed. My heart is literally breaking as tears swell my eyes. I have a 4 year old and I simply can't imagine what you are going through. Not to mention that I myself am a twin and the thoughts filling my head simply hurt my heart. I know that there is probably nothing I can say to help lessen the load you were called to bear. But please know that I will beg God to heal your little boy and I will share his story so that others might do so as well. Praying in VA!

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  16. Mindy, I'm a friend of Mary's and your mom through her. We've been praying since the beginning and I'm praying through my tears tonight for all of you - for a miracle if He wills and for the strength and peace for each moment of each day. Love to all of you...

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  18. As a fellow twin mommy (3 year old identical boys),please know that I will be storming the gates of heaven with prayers for your beautiful child and family. I agree with you 100%.........God IS able!!

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  19. Lord Jesus, we don't understand but we rest in the knowledge that this situation with Ben has not taken you by surprise. You know the outcome and I praise you for being the Great Physician. Lord please wrap your arms around this family give them your grace peace and mercy. I pray for a miracle but trust that no matter what happens Jesus Christ will be glorified. Please give wisdom and guidance to the medical team as they strive to keep Ben comfortable.
    During the next weeks may this family have the opportunity to make lots memories and may their time together be precious. Dear Lord I pray for Jack I ask that you give him wisdom and understanding and allow him time with his twin. We thank you for being the God of the universe and may you be honored during this time. AMEN

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  20. A sister, and family in Christ you will likely never meet this side of heaven, is praying for you. Praying for healing and for grace to walk in the shadow. Keep your eyes on Jesus. Our son went ahead of us to heaven when only five. Our God is faithful, day after day through our loss. So sacred in a way are the days you are walking in. May He keep you in His grip, always. Amy

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  21. Oh Mindy, like many who are following your story, I don't know you personally. And yet, your name is in my mind throughout the day more times than I can count. Praying for your family around the clock, for you and Andy, your sweet Ben, and Jack and Megan too. God has given you such eloquence with words to describe honestly what you are going through, and you exude such grace, and trust, although your tremendous pain is also evident. In addition to first and foremost praying a mighty miraculous healing for Ben and for God to take away all fear for him, I am praying a hedge of protection around your marriage, and that you cling to each other and to God as you walk whatever He has for you in the next few weeks. I am also praying for your Jack and Megan, that they have a peace and understanding that is unexplainable. God, protect this family...each member. Grant them peace beyond all measure. You have many prayer warriors out there, storming the gates of heaven. Petitioning, in His will, for the life of your little boy. Also praying for you to be able to rest, to sleep....for me, nighttime was always the most difficult when my daughter was sick...so I pray that you are able to get the rest you so desperately need during this time. Love and prayers from Saranac Lake, NY.

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    1. I couldn't agree with what you have written any more. Beautifully said.

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    2. It's as if you've pulled the feelings & prayers for Ben, Mindy, Andy, Jack & Megan and the whole extended family right from my heart.

      Thank you for the beautiful words that many of us feel daily for this precious family.

      May the prayers far exceed the many tears we are all shedding on their behalf.
      May God allow us to shed twice as many as His miracle for Ben is revealed!

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  22. Oh Mindy- I join with everyone else here when I say I am heartbroken and yet still praying and hoping for a miracle. May God's strength, comfort, wisdom and peace be poured over you in countless measure as you walk through this.

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  23. Praying for thru the tears. My mothers heart is crying out to our Lord for a miracle in healing little Ben and taking away the tumor. Your strength and attitude is such a testimony to so many. We pray that you can savor every moment together and praying with you as you wait for your miracle.

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  24. Dear Mindy and Family,
    I wish I could find the words to express how my heart aches for you as you travel this most horrendous road. I despise the brokenness, the darkness and all of the troubles that we have to walk through during our time on this fallen planet. Your 'trouble' is the most heart wrenching of all!! I don't know why it is our Creator's story... but meeting us in our trouble, entering into our brokenness, shining His light in to our darkest places, ...is His way. I am asking Him to shine SOOO brilliantly in, around and through your family, to hold you and give you His strength, guidance and peace....While you may not be able to see it... it's exactly what He's doing. He is moving and doing work in hearts... work that is important for eternity. Many eyes are watching ...and He is visible in and on you! In your weakness, His strength is being displayed. I am praying for HEALING for your precious boy! Abba is able!! He CAN do it. I pray that it is His will to do so!! My prayers won't stop.

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  25. I don't know you but saw this on facebook and want you to know that I am praying for Ben and your entire family. Your attitude and outlook through this process is simply awe-inspiring. God is using you and your family in ways far greater than I can see! I am a firm believer in the power of prayer and in miracles. Stay strong and know you are covered in prayer!

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  26. And Yet God.... the most important thing you have shared. Be strong in the Lord, by Jesus strips we were healed. So agree with God and be a peace there by good will come to you. For I am He that heals you says the Lord.

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  27. I am praying for you and Ben with all my might.

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  28. It's time for God to step in and do what science has failed. If there was ever a time for a miracle, it's now. Nothing is impossible with God. (Luke 1:37) Praying and crying for a miracle and for God to hold you all in his loving arms.

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  29. My heart is broken at hearing your story. I will be praying for your family.

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  30. Mindy and family, I have been following Ben's story from the beginning. We have several mutual friends but we don't know each other personally. My heart breaks for all of you. I am a nurse and I often care for adults with this type of brain tumor and I see how devastating the diagnosis is to receive; I couldn't possibly imagine the pain involved in receiving this diagnosis for your child. I am so very sorry that you and your family have to endure this pain. As a mother I know that your children feel like they are the air we breathe... The thought of losing a child could be crippling. You have exhibited such grace in sharing this with all of us and I am inspired by your strong faith. I will continue to pray for all of you fervently that God's will be done. . Whether it means a miracle for Ben or if God calls him home. May you all be at peace with God and His plan for Ben. God bless you all.

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  31. I don't know what to say. I pray our merciful Lord heals Ben for His glory. I pray all fear turns to faith. I pray he wraps you in His peace. I pray if He chooses to call Ben home, that somehow you will remember that, yes, Jesus wept, but we don't mourn as those without hope mourn.

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  32. I've never met you and probably never will--this side of heaven anyway, but I am lifting you all up in prayer tonight. God is able; God is sovereign; God is God. We are all clay in His hands and he molds us as He sees fit. We may not see the why or the shape yet--that's where faith comes in. I pray a special blessing of faith on your family.

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  33. May God wrap His loving arms around you all... Praying for a Miracle for Ben...<3

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  34. Mindy, I went to Houghton, I'm asking friends to pray. I'm also a twin momma to nearly 3 year old girls. My momma's heart is crying out to heaven for you and dear Ben. We are praying in PA.

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  35. Praying for a miracle Mindy! Sending love and lots of prayers from Nashville.

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  36. I used to be a nanny for a Neurosurgeon and he operated on a child and put Radiation wafers directly on the tumor. I dont know if that is an option but it ended up giving her another year.

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  37. Although we've never met I have followed your story lately and am so saddened and heartbroken to read the latest post. I am sending prayers to heaven for your little boy and your entire family. I think so many wish they could do more but we know prayer is powerful and we are storming heaven on your behalf. I pray that Ben has quality time with all his family and beautiful memories made with his siblings. Thank you for continuing to share Ben's story....by doing so you have given strength, hope and the meaning of love to so many others.

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  39. May your faith endure and your trust rest with your loving, heavenly Father. Your heart is so open and honest, Mindy- you have no idea the impact you are having on so many of us. My love and prayers to you all.

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  40. I'm sorry.
    (I can't form/type any other words)

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  42. The tears are flowing here too, but my boys and I are persisting in praying for a miracle. We don't understand, but we know God's wisdom and ways are so far above ours. We know who He is. We have seen what He has done. We know He loves Ben and each of us. We know He is coming back because He has told us and His word never fails. We know that at that time every tear will be wiped away and we will be with Him forever. Until then, we know His grace is sufficient. God rewarded the faith of Abraham who did not hold back Isaac, and I believe He shall reward you and Andy, though I don't know how exactly. May God bless your family and give you His deep peace, and a miracle. Love and hugs to your special, beautiful boy.

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  43. Praying for you all. For the miracle you long for. I am heartbroken for your family and this un-imaginable struggle ... :(

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  44. Waiting on the miracle. You are so brave. Praying for healing, peace, and translogical understanding for a translogical situation. Ironically, our faith is translogical. Lean on Him and Him alone. Love to you and your family.

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  45. Dear fellow mom,
    I am so sorry this is happening to your family. My heart goes out to you. Have you looked into Dr. Burzynski in Texas?????? He treats cases like Ben's. You can watch the documentary of Netflix also. Here is the site: http://www.burzynskiclinic.com/. Please at least contact them to see if they could help your son. Hugs.

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    1. Yes, the minute I began to read your blog and saw his diagnosis, I immediately felt prompted to share info about Dr. Burzynski. I am also a mom who loves and trusts Jesus, and who has also lost a son of my own. I remember thinking when I first learned about Dr. Burzynski's work that I was learning about it for a reason, that I would need to know it one day. Perhaps this is that day. I pray that he might be able to help Ben. As a mom who understands the journey of losing a child, I am praying for God's healing power over Ben, but also over you and your family, in whatever God wills. Though He slay me, yet will I hope in Him! Job 13:15 Amen and Amen.

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  46. Mindy, I also have never met you but I have been following your story about Ben. Such a brave little boy you have. The news is heartbreaking. I also live in Clarence Center and have twins. I can't even imagine what you are going through but I have been praying for you and your family. Praying for a miracle.

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  47. I am a cancer mom too, and my heart aches so deeply for you. I have been following Ben's journey since reading about him on Facebook and wanted to tell you I am praying for all of you. Miracles happen every day. <3

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  48. Sauer and Albrecht families, our hearts are just shattered, broken to bits for you. Praying for comfort for Ben and strength for you, and peace for all. We love you.
    Kiestin

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  49. Mindy, if I could trade places with Ben, I would. This shouldn't be happening to a little boy.

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  50. My heart is so broken for your family. Although we have never met, and I never knew your names until tonight, my heart still breaks. Our prayers are with you and your beautiful baby. From Colorado, we are sending those prayers and all the strength we can.

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  51. Praying and praying....I can't even begin to imagine the heartbreak. May God give you that miracle!

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  52. Our prayers are with you from southern California. I'm so sorry, but not without HOPE.

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  53. Please know that we would all do anything if it would save Ben...just let him know he is loved by so many and that we care about him. please hug him for me.

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  54. My heart breaks for you and your little one. My mother and I were in the radiology waiting room on Thurs and she recognized your little boy. Told me the story. It's not fair. My mother is battling the same cancer as your son, Stage 4 Glioblastoma multiforme. She was there that day for gamma knife radiation. I pray to God that a miracle will happen. They do too. We just can't give up hope. I wish that I could give my life so a pure innocent boy can live his. I wish you nothing but the best for you and your little boy. I'm rooting for him. If anyone can perform miracles, the people at Roswell can. They do have the best people there. Just keep fighting and don't give up hope. Justin Hayden

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  55. No words to express my grief for you all. Continuing to pray for a miracle but also paying for the peace that passes all understanding to guard your hearts and minds in Christ. Know you are being held up in prayer as you walk your precious baby boy home into the arms of Jesus. .
    Sherrie

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  56. My prayers continue for all of you , I have walked in your shoes and it's the most difficult time I have ever had in my life. Your grace , faith and strength are amazing , may all the love everyone has for you carry you through.

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  57. Including your precious child in our nightly prayers, hopefully for a miracle; and for some relief from his pain and suffering, and for your strength of mind, body, and heart. I can only imagine a small amount of what you are going through.

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  58. Prayers for comfort and peace. So sorry.

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  59. Honestly I am taken aback and heartbroken, I follow several children with DIPG, or Glioblastoma, but usually they have SOME time, months at least... I will pray for you and yours.

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  60. I do not know you or your family. But a friend from your town has been sending out updates asking for prayers. You have them, from many people you don't know. There are no words that I, a stranger, can say that can possibly make this easier for you. I will, however, say that I agree, God has a purpose to be worked for good in Ben.

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  61. Never give up on miracles... I so feel for you... I am praying that God will heal Ben... It just isnt fair...I know life isnt fair, but not these little ones... With all that goes on in the world, we need some miracles. May one be Ben.

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  62. Praying for a miracle for you and your family.

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  63. From a mother who has been through this.... my heart is with you. Praying for peace.

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  64. My thoughts and prayers are with him and your family.

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  65. Please try Chaga. My husband had a 11mm size brain lesion, and it has disintegrated without any radiation. He is also a stage 4 lung cancer survivor in remission now for 9 months. The website is: chagamountain.com At least take a look and read up on the articles, It may save his life....God bless you!!!!

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  66. Dearest Mindy and Andy, I do not know you but my darling cousin is friends with you and your Mom. For what my prayers are worth, you have them. This little note is to tell you how much you amaze and touch me. I heard your story and started following your blog. You are such a loving, strong, Christian woman. You are my hero. I will pray for Ben but most of them will be for you and Andy. You are smart, you know what is happening God needs a new soldier in his war against evil, and who better to help him, but a wonderful little boy who has had such strong, faithful, courageous, loving Mommy & Daddy. Ben is what he is because of you and Andy. I pray that you have the courage and strength to face the future. You have such a strong group of followers, we are all with you as you travel down this hard lonely, and devastating road. Remember, as you said, you have Bens brother and sister waiting for you at the end of this nightmare. God Bless and keep you !!!

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  67. I am sorry to hear about your heartbreaking news.
    Please look at the work of Roman oncologist Tullio Simoncini. xx

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  68. Just want you to know that your entire family is being lifted before the throne from Kenya as well. We have family in Western NY that know you and we have friends here in Kijabe Kenya that know you - So our school here is praying for you all. Come Lord Jesus.

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  69. My husband and I have a daily prayer list that has grown from the few we had when we began to almost 4 full typewritten pages. We pray diligently every day over each and every one and we have had some miraculos answers since we began doing this 9 months ago. We will add your darling boy and your family. May God wrap you in His everlasting arms, and may you find peace and comfort there. God bless.

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  70. Still praying for a miracle for Ben and your family. Praying for comfort, peace and strength for all of you.

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  71. Be Strong. So sorry your family has to go through this.

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  72. Hi,

    I hesitate to even write this because my story has a happy ending. My brother was diagnosed with a Glioblastoma at age 14. If you would like to talk to someone who has been through a very small part of your journey I am happy to be there. shannontheresa80ATgmailDOTcom I'm praying courage over all of you.

    Shannon

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  73. I don't know you, but your testimony of wanting your other kids not to loose you too is incredible! Praying for peace and even joy in this hard time!

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  74. My prayer go out to Ben and your family!

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  75. Praying for him today! Walking by faith in God's power and not by what the doctor's see! Believing for healing with you!

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  76. Praying for your family. May God bless your faith as you trust little Ben's life to him. Isa 41:10

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  77. Your faith and confidence in the Lord absolutely humbles me. I am praying for all of you and I want to thank you for sharing this journey, because reading your blog and posts has encouraged me in my faith and has helped me be a better parent. I will keep praying.

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  78. Praying for God's healing touch for Ben. Also for His peace & comfort for you all.

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  79. God is mightier than Science. I am praying for his will be done as well. God Bless and Keep your family.

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  80. Praying with you and for you.

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  81. Sending prayers for your family. May God hold you and your children in the palm of His had and keep you.

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  82. I have marveled at Ben's appearance and skills since the beginning of this journey, thinking I must not understand the placement of the tumor. Today I cannot deny the miracle! That while the tumor tripled in size he laughed, played, fought fires with big heroes, had fun in Walmart, took medicine like a champ, fed himself meals and countless other moments recorded in pictures. He's living life with his childlike faith! I've never heard it sung any louder than you are singing it Ben: THIS LITTLE LIGHT OF MINE, I"M GONNA LET IT SHINE! THIS LITTLE LIGHT OF MINE, I'M GONNA LET IT SHINE LET IT SHINE LET IT SHINE LET IT SHINE!" And nobody ever said we couldn't shine our lights BLUE!
    Ever so sincerely,
    heather

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  83. Praying for a miracle and that God will get the glory. Praying for comfort for your sweet boy and your family. God bless.

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  84. This is incomprehensible. Praying for your miracle. Praying for God's peace that passes understanding and that you all would be granted an extra measure of strength to walk this road.

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  85. May the Heavenly Father comfort you and your family and may Grace show through little Ben to us all. Love and many, many prayers

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  86. The song "Our God" by Chris Tomlin keeps running through my head... here are the lyrics.

    Water you turned into wine, opened the eyes of the blind there's no one like you, none like You!
    Into the darkness you shine out of the ashes we rise there's no one like you none like You!
    Our God is greater, our God is stronger, God you are higher than any other.
    Our God is Healer, Awesome in Power, Our God! Our God!

    Into the darkness you shine out of the ashes we rise there's no one like you, none like You!
    Our God is greater, our God is stronger, God you are higher than any other.
    Our God is Healer, Awesome in Power, Our God! Our God!
    Our God is greater, our God is stronger, God you are higher than any other.
    Our God is Healer, Awesome in Power, Our God! Our God!

    And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us.
    And if our God is with us, then what could stand against.
    And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us.
    And if our God is with us, then what could stand against.
    What could stand against.

    Our God is greater, our God is stronger, God you are higher than any other.
    Our God is Healer, Awesome in Power, Our God! Our God!
    Our God is greater, our God is stronger, God you are higher than any other.
    Our God is Healer, Awesome in Power, Our God! Our God!
    And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us.
    And if our God is with us, then what could stand against.
    And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us.
    And if our God is with us, then what could stand against.
    Then what could stand against.

    Our God is greater, our God is stronger, God you are higher than any other.
    Our God is Healer, Awesome in Power, Our God! Our God!
    Our God is greater, our God is stronger, God you are higher than any other.
    Our God is Healer, Awesome in Power, Our God! Our God!

    Praying you feel OUR GOD'S presence right now!

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  87. I will pray for Ben, and your entire family. I am feeling compelled to tell you about 3 oils that I have been using to help slow and maybe even stop the growth of a brain tumor that I have. The oils are 30 drops of Frankensence, 30 drops of Myrth, and 12 drops of clove bud, which I have combined in 2 tablespoons of fractionated coconut oil. I apply this protocol to my skull at the tumor site, and the back of my neck, and down my spine to my tail bone 3-4 times daily. You can purchase these oils by using the following this link, http://mydoterra.com/ellenrolph. There are no guarantee's, but just maybe they are God's medicine for Ben! Many blessing to you all.
    Ps: you can also diffuse these oils into his room by using a cool mist diffuser. Godspeed

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  88. I can't even imagine how heart-breaking this time is for you...you are all in my prayers!!!!!

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  89. You should check out Dr Berzinski http://www.burzynskiclinic.com/patient-stories.html. He has a different way of treating cancer and it's quite interesting if you read the clinical trials

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  90. Praying for Ben and your family right now!

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  91. Mindy-
    I am a teacher, mom of twin girls and also a cancer survivor. Tears flowed from my eyes as I read your story. I cannot imagine preparing to lose a child and also cannot bear the thought of one twin having to grow up without the other. My girls and I will be praying for you Ben and Jack - as well as your husband and daughter! From the perspective of a cancer survivor, I know the power that God holds in my life and the comfort that he offered through my treatment. I will pray that he show us all his power through a miracle in the form of Ben's complete healing. Love and prayers from Ohio.

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  92. My friend Nicole Argo has been pleading with her facebook friends for prayers. I am praying for you, your family, your friends ... those close to you to help keep you lifted up in this awful time. I don't know any whys or answers, but I do know that God loves us, and that there is nothing He can't do - if that means a miracle as we see it, then so be it; but it could also mean a miracle as He sees it. He knows more than us, and I have to be satisfied with that. I'll also pray that your time with Ben is blessed and filled with joy and happiness, comfort and good times. May God bless you!!!!!!! Hugs! Heidi

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  93. Many many prayers from NC from our Family to yours. I know you are probably overwhelmed with comments but cannot help but let you know there are so many out there with Hope for your Beautiful Family. <3

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  94. My prayers are with your precious family! Praying for a miracle for your beautiful boy! Also praying for supernatural strength and comfort for you as you walk this journey with him. I am glad you have such a strong relationship with Papa God! I don't know how you would get through this without him! Lots of prayers and love to your family from Colorado!

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  95. My prayers for you and your family. Gods will be done. May He give you strength!

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  96. what a wonderful example of strength, faith, and love your are to all of your readers and most importantly to Benjamin and your family. Prayers to you and your family.

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  97. As a twin, my heart simply breaks for your family. For Jack, to lose his best.friend.ever. I am praying for strength for all of you. No one should ever have to go through this. God will guide you, of that I am sure.

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  98. Please know I am praying for you - thank you for your example of true faith in God in the most difficult circumstances.

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  99. Mindy - I don't know you personally, but I've actually done marketing work for your Dad and have seen photos of your boys when we included your blog posts in his newsletter. Because of that I feel connected to you and am just so heartbroken. As a mom, I am so in awe of your strength and courage and yet also can feel your pain so much through your words. I am praying for God to provide you, Ben and all of your family with all that you need to make it through this.

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  100. An acquaintance of mine shared this on facebook - a person who I'm not even sure is a Believer. But, I am a follower of Jesus, and I will be praying for you and your family! Whatever happens in the coming weeks, HE is in control! Your sister in Christ, Jennifer from NY

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  101. Overwhelmed. Praying for a miracle.

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  102. God Bless your family and Ben! I am praying for all of you. Mindy, you are a Mom Hero! Your strength and your faith is amazing! Hugs and prayers being sent!

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  103. Mindy--I heard about your story by FB and have shared as well, asking people to please pray for Ben and your family. This is no coincidence that God has asked you to participate in a special way during Lent.

    I wanted to share with you a little story that you may have already heard: St. Gregory of Nazianzus's sister, Gorgiona, had suffered from a sickness for years that doctors were unable to cure. Having the Blessed Sacrament in her home (which was permitted to some in those days), she threw herself in front of the Blessed Sacrament and begged for a cure, telling God she would not leave until she got it. Then, after anointing herself with blessed oil, she wept bitterly. She was cured completely the very next night. (Paraphrased from St.Gregory's biography.)

    I think God wants us to always be open to His will regardless but sometimes, he inspires us to ask for a miracle. He has never rebuked or turned anyone away who has done this. No matter what the outcome, God will give you the race for this cross.

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    1. It just occurred to me you may not be Catholic--so I will also pray for you and Ben in front of the Blessed Sacrament if that is the case!

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  104. Praying for a miracle... Psalm 91

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  105. I'm a grown man and father brought to tears reading this heart-wrenching yet beautiful blog. I'm praying for divine intervention, that God may take away Benjamin's pain and suffering and fill all of you with His love.

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  106. I've never met your family, only on FB thru a family member (Lindsay C.). But my heart goes out to you all. After following Ben's story for some time on FB, I am devastated by your news. You have all been in my prayers and will continue to be thru your journey. You are not alone. God Bless, Sue from Alden

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  107. I don't even know you, but I'm praying for you. I heard about your story on twitter and it literally left me weeping. I'm praying hard for you.

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  108. I seem to be drawn to pray for children, or any one with an extreme illness. It started one day when someone gave me a book called "The Christ the Healer.'" I read it and then found my self in a situation to call on Christ for my own son. Get it read it! Find Andrew Womack Ministry, Listen to Him. Then speak!!! You have authority over you this. It may be untaped but try. Find the promises of God and read them out loud to your son. Let the word to it's work. Speak to that tumor and tell it, it has no place in your child's body. Try, I know this may sound whacky, but miracles do happen. I am a witness. I pray for you and your lovely baby boy Ben. In Jesus name I command that tumor to leave!

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  109. Will pray for Ben and your family.

    if anyone would like to fast today 5 march, please do.

    love,
    Maureen.

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  110. Thank you for sharing your story and choosing to be vulnerable in the midst of your journey. BEN is all over my facebook page everyday because we have many mutual friends. Because Ben is all over facebook...so is Our God! thank you for your sincere heart for the Lord...for clinging to truth...for being honest and open even in your pain so thay others may see Him. i am touched by you and i hope that if i were to ever be placed in a similar situation that i would respond with even half as much grace as you have. i have been waking throughout the night with you and your family on my mind as i know you may not be sleeping at all. BOLD and TRUSTING prayers for a miracle are being spoken. May you know His Peace in Your deep pain. stay fixed on Him. Never doubt His goodness. The very hairs on Bens head are numbered and known by our Loving God and He also knows and numbers the very hairs on your head. He is acquainted with all your ways. He sees and knows and
    hears! i've been taking more time with my five and three year old, and 5month old to just be and hug on them. it is sometimes easy to wish away the monotony and stress that come with three little ones. thank you for the reminder and perspective you have granted with the sharing of you heart. my little boy has been singing "In Christ Alone" through his pacifier while i have been typing. may that song ring true for you today. praying for you and sending you love from st. louis.

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  111. Gosh, I am so sorry. This must be incredibly painful for you all. Praying...miracles do happen!

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  112. I don't know you but I just wanted to let you know that I will be praying for sweet little Ben, you & your family, and everyone involved. My heart just aches reading about your situation. May God give you new strength each and every day, and surround you with love and comfort. Lean not on your own understanding. God has a plan. God bless you all. -Becka (St. Louis)

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  113. Another stranger-- another sister in Christ-- praying.

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  114. Prayers sent from NJ! I heard about your story through some fellow Houghtonites. Praying for peace, comfort, strength, and sweet memories...and most of all miraculous healing! Our God is Big.

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  115. So thankful our God is bigger than any tumor! Praying for Ben and waiting to see God's glory SHINE through each one of you! Thank you Jesus that by YOUR stripes Ben IS healed!! Thank you that Ben is still functioning as a vibrant, full of life child and pray that he continues to grow and function as you created him to all the while this tumor is shrinking. I am thankful, Lord that you surround these parents with the kind of peace that only YOU can give!! All these things I pray in the sweet and MIGHTY name of Jesus, amen!!

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  116. We are praying so very hard for little Ben and for your family. I teach a class of fourth graders at Central Baptist Christian School, and they have all been touched by your story. We are devastated to hear of this new development, but we are confident that God will heal Ben. Whether here on the earth (oh we pray it is so) or in the ultimate healing of heaven, Ben will be whole again. We are praying for a miracle. And we are praying for God to keep you under His wings. My heart, as a mom, absolutely breaks for you, and I am so sorry you have to go through this. God bless you and your family.

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  117. Praying for you. Praying for peace. For a miracle. For your kids. This is truly a worst nightmare. God bless you all

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  118. Praying hard! May Jesus surround your family with His mighty strength and love!

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  119. This little guy has brought so many ppl here together whom never had anything to,do,with eachother... he is an amazing little guy, just for this matter alone. Praying that he recovers . Do what your heart tells you to do. Hold him closely, no fear. Xo

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  120. This little guy has brought so many ppl here together whom never had anything to,do,with eachother... he is an amazing little guy, just for this matter alone. Praying that he recovers . Do what your heart tells you to do. Hold him closely, no fear. Xo

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  121. Dear family, you are in my prayers! You all.are so brave and inspiring. God, please be with this family and give them peace and miracles Lord. For You are God of all! Thank you Jesus.

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  122. No words …tears …prayer ….yes the Lord has brought the miracle of Ben ….continuing to pray for you all… I lost my little brother in the mid 60's to an incurable problem at that time… his name was Ben. Many prayers for you… God be with you

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  123. There are so words. I will pray along side you for a miracle and healing for Ben but I will also pray for God's comfort for your family as you walk through these next few weeks and savor every moment with Ben. You are inspiration to me as a mother and an example as to the kind of faith I hope I would have if I ever had to walk this road with one of my babies. Truly remarkable to read your words of faith in a God that loves us in all circumstances but even more remarkable as you walk this road.

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  124. Praying through the intercession of St. Gianna that peace and healing will come to your family.

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  125. Thank you for sharing your amazing testimony of God's love, strength and faith living and breathing in and through you. We have never met, but I am sending mom-to-mom hugs your way. Embrace your precious gift from God, and enjoy each moment God grants you to do so. May we each be reminded to love those precious gifts God has given each of us. We are joining you in prayer for a miracle, and God's overwhelming peace to surround your entire family. ~Laurie (Pennsylvania)

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  126. I pray for you and I am so sorry your family is going through this. Have you tried Boston Children's Hospital? They do so much. I will continue to pray for your miracle.

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  127. Praying for your family. Beautiful testimony of God's abundant grace.
    Blessings to you.

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  128. I am praying for your family and your sweet little boy.

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  129. I'm so, so sorry that your family is going through this. I will join you in prayer for a miracle, for strength and peace, and for your private intentions.

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  130. My heart hurts for your family and I will keep him in my prayers. I pass along these words for they are the last words my grandfather said to me before he lost his battle with cancer. He said to me, "don't cry God just needs another angel." I am going to pray every day for you and your family and hope for the best!

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  131. Mindy, everybody has expressed my deepest hearts desire for your family...I'm praying as I've not prayed in my life for your family and Ben. Praying pray praying. I wish there was more I could do to help you bear this burden...All I can do is pray and praying I am doing.

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  132. Dear Mindy and family...I'm praying and thinking of you and Ben's miracle every day since I'have started to follow your beautifully put in words blog. As the tears fill my eyes I strongly believe that God has a plan for little Ben and your family. I'm praying to God that your journey be filled with love and peace. I wish I had the words to comfort you but realize that no matter what words are to be said the pain will remain...I have prayers... please know that you have found a place in my hart and endless time for prayers always...for your precious boy Ben and your family...

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  133. INTERCESSORY PRAYER TO SAINT RITA (for a sufferer of illness)

    Dear Rita, model wife and widow, you yourself suffered in a long illness showing patience out of love for God. Teach us to pray as you did. Many invoke you for help, full of confidence in your intercession. Come now to my aid for the relief and cure of: Ben Sauer of brain cancer. To God, all things are possible; may this healing give glory to the Lord. Amen.













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  134. I saw a link via Facebook for your blog. Will be praying for Ben. ♥

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  135. Such a beautiful little boy! His love for you shines out from his soul....take that and tuck it into your hearts to keep for ever! He surely is an angel...........When he crosses to the other side of the veil he will surely look after you........... I am sorry for your physical loss of him but a body is not what he is made up....he is made up of many other components...living components.......mental, emotional, spiritual.......... so when the time comes do not stand at his grave and weep for he is not there..........he is the sunlight dancing on the corn, he is the diamond glint shimmering on the snow, he is the quiet rush of birds' wings as they rush to the sky...... he is the summer breeze caressing your cheeks as it goes by......with a whole heart full of love for your family........... my heart cries for you.......sighs for you..........

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  136. Keeping all of you in our thoughts and prayers

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  137. Dear Sauer family--I write as one who understands well what you are going through. We lost our beloved 23 year old son Christopher to a rare genetic cancer on Dec. 30. He had fought it for a year, but in the end it overrode the treatments and simply raged. We were sent home with the same prognosis you got--weeks, not months. I am here to tell you that it is agonizing, but that God blesses and blesses if you will let him. Chris's last two weeks were full of love and amazing spiritual insights. He knew where he was going and would tell God he was ready, reaching his arms up as if to embrace Heaven. We were able to say goodbye and to make sure there was nothing left undone or unsaid. He passed easily, tapping my arm and pointing over my shoulder. I know he was seeing paradise. We miss our beautiful boy every day, but we do not mourn as those who have no hope, and I know you will be able to say the same. You think you will not be able to stand it, but you will as God provides you with strength. Press in to God, lean hard on him, and hold onto the promise that you will be with your boy again. I am praying for your family.

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  138. I lost my husband on 12/12/12 to Glioblastoma. I'm very, very sorry you are having to go through this. My prayers are with you.

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  139. We understand your feelings so well. We lived on hope when our little boy was stricken with a fatal decease. We too acknowledged that God could have intervened. We too said not our will but Thine be done. It was His Will to take him to heaven. We continue to Trust Him in all things and He has blessed us in so many ways. Please leave it all in Jesus hands and God's best will come to you. We love you even though we haven't met. We pray God will give you the needed strength and comfort for whatever lies ahead.
    With Love and Care,
    Sherm and Dorine

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  140. Please know how much God is using you, your family and Ben. Every post is evidence of someone being touched by God because of Ben and your so willing to drink the cup. You are such an example of what Christ did himself on the cross. YES, I know you would rather this not be the case. IT SUCKS!!!! I have not given up hope, and pray unceasingly for healing, for comfort, rest and peace. I know that you are being filled with the peace that transcends understanding because you evidence turning over all your anxiety to Him who cares for you, and this peace is what He promises in return. You've reminded me to be grateful for my three children and to never take for granted their health, their smiles, their laughter their life. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for blessing me with your story and your life. Although Ben is not yours, he is Gods, so are you! And that is awesome!

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  141. My heart just broke for you and your family. I have a child with a very serious chronic illness. Please...look into Rick Simpson oil, immediately, as a possibility.

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  142. As much as I call kids little a-holes, they are also the biggest miracles. I will keep every finger crossed for your family and pray for you. Lots of virtual hugs.

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  143. My heart just breaks. Sending you lot's of strength and prayers.
    Heavenly father I pray for a miracle place your healing hands on this beautiful child and wash away this cancer. I pray for his family give then strength, health and faith in their darkest moments. In your name I pray
    Amen.

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  144. My heart aches for you and your family....I am holding Ben in my prayers. Please take time to read this article....it could make a big difference for Ben.

    http://www.harmonikireland.com/essiac-natures-cure-for-cancer/

    Love and Light

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  145. Wow. This brought me to tears. Ben, and you guys, will be in my prayers. My daughter's name means, "pledged to God," and He has often reminded me of this when I have been concerned, but it's never been to this level. Your faith, even in such hard times, is so beautiful.

    On the chance that it would help I just wanted to see if you knew about the ketogenic diet? I know of people who've eliminated brain tumors with this method before, and while praying for a miracle and spending time with your precious son, I just wanted to throw it out there. Nothing painful or dangerous for him but a chance it could starve out the tumor, slow it's growth, something! Obviously, I'll be praying that God just takes care of it, but I couldn't not share this in case it helped.

    Dr. Jockers is the one I know has overseen patients with this. You can read under "testimonies" under "clinic" on his page (drjockers.com) or google "dr jockers ketogenic diet" to learn the basics about it.

    Praying for you all!

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  146. Dear sweet Mindy, from one Mother's heart to another, I can't even comprehend your pain. We've never met, but I am crying tears of compassion for you & Andy as you have to be the rocks during the next few weeks. Somehow you will do it and you'll do it with grace. Ben won't be afraid. Jack & Megan will feel comfort. Sending much love to you & your family. That Ben has touched my heart in these past few weeks and I'm so sad today.

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  147. I've never seen your blog before but a friend linked it on facebook. I am profoundly moved by your situation and your faith. This is what I know - that nothing is impossible with God. I know that your son and all of you are safe with God and He loves and treasures you all. I believe in miracles but I accept that we don't always get the answers we want and we cannot see now what the plan God is for us and the whole of our lives. I will be praying for your son. For the love of God to hold you all up. May His will be done.

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  148. I'll be praying a novena for little Ben to Ven. Fulton Sheen. "Venerable Fulton Sheen, please intercede for Ben and his family. Show forth the glory of God by obtaining for him a cure through the grace of Jesus Christ, through His name, Amen."

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  149. My dear Mindy and family, my prayers, fasting and love for Ben and your family, is present each day, since I learned about it... I would like to share with you the lyrics of the song "The Promise" By The Martins. Please read it and if you get a chance, in the midst of all what you are going thru, go to YouTube and listen... it's comforting to know that His promises are there to request them at all times...

    The Promise
    I never said that I would give you silver or gold
    Or that you would never feel the fire or shiver in the cold,
    But I did say you'd never walk thru this world alone,
    And I did say DON'T MAKE THIS WORLD YOUR HOME.
    I never said that fear wouldn't find you in the night
    Or that loneliness was something you'd never have to fight,
    But I did say I'D BE RIGHT THERE BY YOUR SIDE,
    And I did say I'LL ALWAYS HELP YOU FIGHT
    Cause you know I made a promise that I intend to keep
    "My grace will be sufficient in your time of need
    My Love will be the anchor that you can hold on to"
    This is the promise, this is the promise I've made to you.
    I never said that friends would never turn their backs on you
    Or that the world around you wouldn't see you as a fool
    But I did say like me you'll surely be despised
    And I did say "My ways confound the wise"
    I didn't say you'd never taste the bitter kiss of death
    Or have to walk thru chilly Jordan to enter into rest,
    But I did say I'D BE WAITING RIGHT ON THE OTHER SIDE
    And I did say I'LL DRY EVERY TEAR YOU HAVE CRIED.
    Cause you know I made a promise that I've prepared a place
    And someday sooner than you think you'll see me face to face
    And you will sing with the angels and a countless multitude,
    This is The Promise, This is The Promise I've Made to YOU!
    So just keep on walking don't turn to the left or right
    And in the midst of darkness let this be your light,
    That hell can't separate us and you're gonna make it thru,
    This is the promise, This is the promise I've made to you!

    Also, (Jn. 14:1-4)
    "Let not you heart be troubled: You believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father's house has many mansions; if that were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going."

    Psalm 150 - Lets all Praise THE LORD!



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  150. I would never discount modern medicine in this situation, but if there is nothing else they can do, I just discovered these amazing essential oils and their healing power...found this link you might want to read. http://youngliving.biz/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/YL-Essential-Oil-Cancer-Protocol.pdf

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  151. Praying for him to have a complete healing on this earth. Praying for God's will to be done. Praying for you all through this incomprehensibly difficult time.

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  152. Dear ones, My son's name is Benji and he is four years old. I cannot fathom what you are going through right now. Thank you for your faith, courage, and willingness to share. Mindy- you are my hero. Keep your eyes on the cross and be assured that He has loved you from the start. We are praying constantly.

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  153. sending prayers and comfort and strength.

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  154. praying for you and your sweet baby in this very moment. I pray for a miracle for Ben. I pray for comfort for you and your husband, children and extended family. I pray for the peace that surpasses all understanding in Jesus' name.

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  155. Im listening to this worship song right now by Israel & New Breed, its called "Its not over" and Im listening and praying and thinking about your family and little Ben. I don't know you I came across this article just a few minutes ago through a friend in Facebook. But in Christ we are all family. And as the song say It's not over. Im praying for a miracle and for God to do his perfect will in Ben's life. God bless

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  156. Praying for your family from Amherst. God bless all of you

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  157. I don't know you, but I am praying for your family.

    Check out essential oils, tumeric, and theraputic doses of Vitamin C. There's some neat information out there on those things.

    You can also look at the Healthy Families for God page. There is great info on healing using the things God has in nature.

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  158. Jesus Jesus Jesus! Hold this family tight, and give them strength and peace and remind them that even though their world is shaken and crumbling around them, you are strong and stable. Heal this little boy and remove the death that is spoken upon him. I speak life into his brain and life over his whole body. Lord, you are good. Thank you for your will and what you will do.

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  159. Praying for him, you and your family.

    Our God is Big, so strong and so mighty, there is nothing our God cannot do.

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  160. I would love to offer my services to photograph you and your family in a fun setting. I am really sorry to hear about what you are going through. If you are interested please email me at info@onionstudio.com
    Dylan

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  161. Sending out prayers for your little Ben, and the rest of your family.

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  162. Prayers for a miracle. Before you knew him, God's purpose for him was clear. Blessings to your family!

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  163. Praying for you! I have watched the grief that the Sauer family has endured over the years. I was with Tommy at camp when he got the news of his father's passing, I watched the incredible strength your mother in law showed as she buried her 18 year old son while still recovery from that very same accident that claimed his life and I have been overwhelmed by the strong faith and hope that was shown through each of these circumstances. I saw Janet battle her own cancer and give glory to God through that whole ordeal. I can't imagine the sorrow your family has gone through but your faith, your love, your strength has been evident and powerful! We know that all things work together for good to those that Love God and are called according to His purpose. I am praying that the strength of God carries you through and that you will feel His arms embrace you through this. As a mom of a 4 year old I don't even have words but I know I can pray. Lifting you up daily!

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  164. I have struggled with words to share since I heard of sweet Ben's story, and I'm still not sure exactly what I should be sharing. I keep thinking through all of this, and the blog posts I've read, of Jeremiah 29:11, For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. I feel this is only the beginning of Ben's story, he has touched so many people already and will continue to reach people for the Lord. God's still in the miracle making business!! Sending prayers for healing for Ben, peace for you, his family, and for God's glory to be revealed to all who know Ben's story.

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  165. One thing I know for sure! Your family has started a prayer revival in the hearts of thousands. Thousands of lives have been brought closer to the Lord through this tragedy. There is more good to come. Romans 8:28 promises that "all things work together for the GOOD of those who love God and are call according to His purpose." We all see the hand of God preserving Ben every day as this tumor should be affecting him more. Thank you so much for sharing the way you have. Our family is praying multiple times a day for all of you!

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  166. My prayers are with your family. Oh, may He shower you all and precious little Ben with blessings. "And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." -2 Corinthians 12:9. Praying for comfort and rest, and healing most of all.

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  167. Your son is going to live. He is going to live because you have not lost faith. He is going to live because God loves you and your family. Your son is going to live because YOU HAVE HOPE IN JESUS. Bless you for knowing and believing and hope despite the circumstances set forth in front on you. He Will live. There is victory in the Messiah and God is looking to give your family a miracle. DO NOT LOSE HOPE. DO NOT ACCEPT THE LIE HE WILL NOT LIVE. Do not accept anything OTHER THAN HE WILL LIVE TO SEE ADULTHOOD AND BE HEALTHY. DO NOT ACCEPT THE LIES. I witnessed a woman told by the doctors 8 years she would not be able to take care of herself today because she was thrown from a car. She was told she wouldn't be able to drive or see very well and someone would have to care for her everyday. She was 19 at the time. I saw her in the last few months and she is walking, talking, healthier than she has ever been, and going to college. She has her struggles but her faith is growing everyday. HEBREWS 11:1 Faith is the persuasion, OF THINGS THAT ARE IN HOPE, as if they are ACTUAL FACT, and IT IS the manifesting of things unseen. Lets all believe this boy is going to live. Blessings to you.

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  168. My 27 year old husband has a Glioblastoma and the chemo stopped working this past November. My heart goes out to your family.

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  169. Dear Mindy:

    My name is Aisha Casanova. I'm a mother of 4 children and I'm 42 years old. I've been married to my husband for almost now 21 years. In all my walk with the Lord I've learned a lot through different valleys. But I won't have the time to tell you my story right now. (That's why I'm writing a book). But...back to what I wanted to tell you. DON'T GIVE UP!! Even though what you see in front of you right now (the sickness) appears to be big and out of your control, don't give up. Resist the temptation of accepting the bad news. Enjoy life with your son and family even though you may not feel like doing it. I have 2 girls and 2 boy, but I lost one girl. HOWEVER, with a humble attitude I tell you with certainty and complete assurance that it's God's will that your boy is whole and in well-being. I'm reading a book of the great neurosurgeon Benjamin Carson. And I have learned with him so much from an specific case that he describes as an amazing faith. If you want to get encouragement, the book's name is THINK BIG'. I know it may sound to you at this point that my point of view is unrealistic, but that's what's faith is all about. At this point, think about this, like this doctor said: "If we don't do anything or try believing for something, it's like doing nothing, so let's take the risk". I have one of my boys that came awefully sick with heart problems,asthma, a bad bacteria in his kidneys, a hip birth defect. His first 3 years were a nightmare, literally. My husband lost his job with the state for so many times we were on hospitals. We lost home, car, income and on top I went through post-partum depression. I thought I was going to lose my mind, BUT ONE DAY I said: "Lord...I surrender. I can't go on anymore. I need your strength. Give me back my joy and fill me with your peace so I can keep up with all this.". I took an afternoon just to worship him. And it was like a new season. I'm not the hero of this story. Jesus is! After 4 years of believing for a miracle, my boy DID RECEIVE his healing. I know you may thing your situation seems impossible. But I just prayed that the tumor in your little boy Ben starts shrinking and be cast out. My daughter interceded with me too for you and your boy. I really believed that with all my heart!! Please don't think I'm giving you false hope, but I know God is good. And even though we don't understand why life hits us with so much battles, you are not alone. Feel free to contact me. My email is aisha_casanova@yahoo.com. You may have a friend in me. (I found out about your son through my sister in law that has been posting in her facebook page that we pray for Ben).

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  170. This Jersey Girl continues to pray for a miracle for Ben, and for peace and comfort for all of you. I cannot imagine... God be with you...

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  171. I don't know you, but it seems evident that God is using you and your family to touch many lives. You are my sister in Christ and therefore I weep with you but also rejoice that you have this opportunity. Praying for a miracle because I know HE is capable. May God continue to bless you and your family. <3

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  172. A friend of mine posted this. I don't know you all but this has touched me; your faith and belief in the Lord is inspiring, despite facing the worst of situations. I am saying prayers for Ben. May he be healed in the name of Jesus!

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  173. My family is praying for your family. I am praying for a miracle, and thankful that God's is sovereign and will have his way one day. Thank you for sharing your faith so boldly and with such vulnerability.

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  175. Our family will be in constant prayer for you. I have a sick child also and throughout many surgeries I have had to say "let your will be done". It is the hardest thing in the world to pray. We will pray that God decides to use Ben as a living miracle so it is a witness to others.

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  176. God is sovereign. God bless Ben and your family.

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  177. Hi -- We've never met, but I read your story via facebook posts from Houghton alumni since three of my siblings attended -- including my sister Emily, who was struck by lightning right after her freshman year. The resulting brain injury was catastrophic and five years later she requires full-time care. I'm the sister, and the causes and process are different -- I can't pretend to understand precisely what you and your family are experiencing. But I do remember pain so intense that even the mere act of breathing was difficult in the midst of the grief, and from watching my mom I know the suffering is even more intense for you. I've found this song--and Piper's words during it--incredibly comforting. I don't know how this suffering will be used....I don't know why you and your family, and especially your son, have to be the ones used. I don't know why my sister or my family had to be either. I don't know. I probably never will in this life. And yet, we have this Hope as an anchor for the soul -- may yours hold fast, and may He be glorified.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qyUPz6_TciY

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  178. Praying for Ben and for the whole family that you may find peace and healing.

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  179. Prayers for Ben and for the family

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  180. Hi Mindy, we've never met but I used to live in Buffalo and have been following your story through my Chapel friend's Facebook posts. We have been praying without ceasing here in Chicago and will continue to do so. I am praying today that you and your family feel God's loving arms wrapped tightly around you. As I read your blog I see Jesus through you, He is present and doing a work through you, your faith is a testimony to our Lord. You have sisters in Christ in Chicago praying.

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  181. Just another internet voice, lifting you in prayer.

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  182. Dear, dear Mindy. I can empathize as well as sympathize with you and your family. Nineteen years ago our youngest daughter was diagnosed with a ganglioneuroblastoma at the age of 2-1/2. It was larger than a large grapefruit, and we were told she would be lucky to live to see the age of 5. That's the last thing any parent wants to hear. I know the pain, the hurt, the fear, the frustration, and sometimes the angry question, why my child? No treatment, no matter how strong the chemotherapy, worked against Rachel's tumor; and, when a resection was attempted, she began to bleed out, so all they could do was sew her back up and go back to the drawing board.

    We begged and pleaded and prayed for a miracle, but nothing happened. Time went on, and I realized that she wasn't ours to have, she wasn't ours to decide the outcome, that she was God's and as such I had to give her to God to control. Around her fifth birthday we went back for yet another MRI to check the status of the tumor. Fully expecting her oncologist to give us the same news, that there was no change, we did what we had done so many times, scheduled the next monitoring MRI, not knowing what would happen. We received the call from her oncologist, like always, fully expecting the same speech we'd heard so many times: no change, we don't know, we'll keep checking. Instead, we received a call from an elated oncologist. Inexplicably Rachel's tumor shrunk a full inch. He didn't know why as she hadn't received treatment for a year. We were ecstatic, to say the least. Long story short, Rachel still has the tumor, although it's done nothing for 14 years. She will be 21 at the end of next month, and she is almost finished with her bachelor's of science in, you guessed it, nursing. I don't tell you this to say that I have any special information from God that the same will happen for Ben. I tell you this because we were at that same point as you, no medical hope, nothing we could physically do, and all we had was God. We didn't know then that she would live to be 20 and who knows how much. We only knew that we had to give her to God and God would be glorified no matter the outcome.

    I am praying so very, very hard for a miracle for Ben. I know God is still in the business of miracles, and I know from reading your blog that you are in the business of trusting and loving your Heavenly Father. Please know that no matter the outcome, your sweet and incredibly adorable son Ben has already been used by God to glorify God. I promise I will not stop praying, and I will never forget you and your family, no matter the outcome. Your faith is a reminder of what all Christians should be doing, not only giving everything to God, but trusting God no matter the outcome.

    Thank you for sharing, and please know you're lifted up in prayer in mid-Missouri.

    Randi Fetters

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  183. I have found you through a friend's FB post. Your faith in the midst of this storm....remarkable. May God be glorified through this situation. I am praying for complete healing for your precious son, I know God is able. I also know God's ways are not always our ways. In His infinite wisdom, may He work this out for His glory and your good. ...for all things work together for good to those who are called according to His purpose....but I know you know that. Blessings on you....joining with countless others in prayer.

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  184. This is the first time I am coming across this story and believe me, it has moved me. I look at your precious boy's photos and see a beautiful young boy who deserves nothing more than to grow and see all that life has to offer. I know my words cant change his diagnosis, but know I have lifted him up in prayer and will continue to until that miracle you so desperately want and need becomes a reality. God our Almighty, its in your hands. Please hear all our prayers and give this family the miracle they need. As a mother my heart breaks for you. Stay strong!!

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  185. Your posts are intense yet calm and grounded. I absolutely feel the peace of God when I read them. I have been praying since first reading your post and am so deeply moved by your faith. Shedding tears for Ben today and praying continuously as I spend time with my four year old son and my 22 month old. Stay strong and know that you are lifted in prayer by so, so many. Hearts are touched and lives are changed by Ben.

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